Revisualizing how I see myself

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Part of learning to let go is learning to let go of my attachment to home, partner and perceived safety and certainty. I decided to make some handy copies of pictures of myself of when I used to travel without a care in the world. I never worried if anything would happen to friends or loved ones while I was working overseas and traveling regularly. So, why have I been so consumed with fear about leaving home for the past decade?

Yeah, I was younger. I didn't own a home. I didn't have a life partner. I did have a cat. I still had my original hair colour. Was I oblivious? No, I just think that curiosity and living around adventurous people helped quite a bit. I'm going to carry around some photos of those careless days in the hopes of remaking my self-image.

Update on this week's homework

I managed to accomplish all of my homework.
I lit a candle every day, let it burn out and resisted any urges to put it outside afterwards.
I resisted checking the water in the bathtub before leaving the house.
I resisted unplugging the nightlight when leaving the house.
I only glanced around the kitchen before leaving.

Writing about those urges almost feels foreign after a week and my list of things to check has gone down. I find that I trust myself more. For example, I ironed 6 shirts today. I don't like ironing and don't do it often. Maybe, just maybe, I avoid ironing because then I have to deal with wondering whether the iron is shut off and unplugged. Today, I let it cool and put it away before meeting friends for a walk and that was that. I didn't go back to check it before leaving and I didn't obsess about it or anything else before leaving or while out.

I feel good about that. I go back to work tomorrow. I have to stay disciplined and keep it up.