Finally starting to accept uncertainty on a daily basis

I've been working hard over the last few months. I'm participating in a study on overcoming OCD and I've been assigned to cognitive therapy. We spent several weeks analyzing my thoughts and putting things into a hierarchy and now, finally, I'm working on eliminating checking certain things.

I'm no longer "allowed" to check the bathtub to make sure that there is water in it which could cause the kitty to drown should she be so inclined as to jump into a bathtub filled with water.

I'm no longer allowed to touch the stove, the oven nor the outlets for the kettle or the coffee maker. I'm only to glance around the kitchen before leaving the house.

At work, I have to lock up  and leave. No double or triple or quadruple checking of cupboard locks, etc.

I've tried in the past to let go and just leave without checking but I couldn't the anxiety would set in. I realized that checking for me might be a bottle of Scotch or cigarettes to someone else. I have to replace checking when I get anxious with another behaviour. I've decided to recite a Bible verse and turn on my music when I walk out the door.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7

There is a lot to be said for being here now, being very present while doing things. Being deliberate in one's actions.

Accepting uncertainty is like accepting to grow up. I was fine with uncertainty for most of my life and then when a few too many things happened, it took awhile, but OCD surfaced in a kind of post-traumatic stress way. The checking habit had already ingrained itself so solidly into my routines and psyche that it was too late by the time I realized that it was affecting my life. Suddenly, I realized that I'd unconsciously built a cage around my world in trying to create the illusion of security.

At 51 and almost a half, with some help, a dose of courage, and a lot of self-discipline, I feel as if I've found the combination for the lock on my cage and I'm very close to flinging it open for the first time in years.